What's Friendly Universe all about?
Simply put, Your Freedom.
I looked for peace and joy everywhere outside of me. But the last place I looked, was where I found it - within me... the only place it really counts!
In 2008, everything changed for me.
I began to finally experience happiness on a regular basis. All of the self-help books and courses had lots of interesting theories, but nothing practical to implement. And then, I discovered self-inquiry (The Work of Byron Katie) -- I'll tell you all about it in just a moment!
Since I began Mindfulness Coaching in 2009, I've witnessed "miraculous" transformations in people's lives and in their relationships (and certainly in my own). Where nothing else worked, meditative self-inquiry broke through the fears and pain of repetitive stressful thoughts -- and it works FAST! -- So many clients have told me that they tried therapy for years, and after just a few sessions with me, their lives dramatically improved!
|
What is "The Work" of Byron Katie?
It has a funny name -- and, who is this "Byron Katie" anyhow? -- Byron Katie is actually a woman (she goes by "Katie"), who discovered a very simple way to work through her decade of self-loathing, and years of suicidal depression. Katie describes her path to freedom as "The Work found me". She was not looking for a way out of her depression. She hit rock bottom, and one day she awoke to, "a joy that has never left". She was not a spiritual or religious person. Katie explains simply, “I’m just someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn’t" and "I'm not a masochist anymore". (from Loving What Is). |
"The Work" - is what Katie calls the meditative process she discovered. It's not so much a "thing" -- it's simply:
"Four Questions and a Turnaround".
Here's how it works:
Step 1. Identify the stressful thoughts you experienced in a given situation -- from your recent past, or even your childhood.
Examples are: someone cutting you off in traffic, chronic physical pain or illness, conflict with a loved one, procrastination in business, and any moment of disappointment, anger, fear, sadness, or confusion.
Step 2. Question. This is the heart of The Work -- meditative self-inquiry -- and it's so simple it's amazing that it actually works! -- but it really does. First of all, I'm no meditator... I could barely sit still in silence for 10 minutes, but The Work is a different kind of meditation. All you do, is focus on the stressful situation - like it's a still photograph. Then, while you hold that image in your mind, you answer The 4 Questions. The trick is to consult your "heart" or inner-wisdom, and not to answer with your well-trained/ conditioned, ego-based intellect.
ASK yourself
WAIT - notice what appears/triggers, don't judge, censor, or in any way attempt to control what arises. Simply wait in the silent Stillnesss and you'll be shown something if you tune in and really "listen".
RECEIVE
Experience what surfaces in the Stillness. Give it a chance to live. Simply notice what arises. The only effort is focusing on your situation like a photograph, and listening closely to your inner voice.
The 4 Questions
1. Is it true? (yes/no)
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true? (yes/no)
3. How do you react - what happens - when you believe this thought?
4. Who or what would you be without this thought?
The Turnarounds are simply a look into the opposites of the thought that was causing your stress. The 4 Questions open your mind to receive the Turnarounds.
And that's The Work!
Pretty simple, right?
It IS simple. BUT, you've been "trained" culturally, to resist and avoid confrontation with your stressful thoughts.
|
Katie sometimes says, "I don't call it The Work for nothing!".
As a Mindfulness Coach, facilitating The Work, my job is essentially that of a "lion tamer" for the ego. When ego defends with its judgments and rationalizations, you stop answering the questions of The Work, and thus, it stops working - like an on/off switch. Sometimes people claim "The Work doesn't work", but they fail to see they were just defending their story with "proof" (i.e., another story) -- the ego loves this! |
When you're very attached to your stressful story about a situation, or if you're just starting out in Inquiry, it's best to have a facilitator to support you and keep you focused (that's the meditative part). As you practice The Work more regularly - just like any other skill, The Work starts working you -- inquiry takes on a life inside you, and things that used to drive you mad, eventually don't upset you, as you quickly snap out of the nightmare of your suffering. Often, laughter and curiosity replace the suffering that used to get triggered.
About Bryan Clark
As far back as I can remember, I have been fascinated by the mind. I studied ESP and hypnosis in my early teenage years, and then formally studied psychology at the University of Central Florida, earning a Masters degree in Human Factors Psychology.
Human Factors is the study of how people interact with objects and environments. My job was to design services and products to be user-friendly, by understanding the mindset of the people who would be using them (the "human" factor). I traveled around the world to research and help develop medical and consumer product interfaces, and years later, I designed websites and software interfaces.
In graduate school, I was most interested in Mental Models (how people believe something works vs. how it actually functions), and Anthropomorphism - how people interact with objects as if they were people - for example, punishing or praising your computer, getting upset with autocorrect or Siri on your smart phone, or even naming your car. I was also very interested in User Feedback - the lack of which causes frustration, because it requires the person interacting with the object or environment to create his or her own explanation of what happened.
As it turns out, this applies to human-to-human interaction as well! This is because perception IS your reality, and your belief system gets superimposed onto everything you perceive. There's the reality of what happened, and then there's your story (your perception) of what happened. When you don't have the whole story, your mind fills in the gaps of your understanding with assumptions. These assumptions are based on your past experiences or anecdotal stories, which appear to be related to your present experience.
When you cling to these unquestioned assumptions as your truth, your behavior becomes influenced by inaccurate information, which your ego will often defend to the death (of your joy). The Work leverages your stressful stories, like breadcrumbs, to lead you home to clarity. Katie often says, "Confusion is the only suffering on this planet" -- and that's what I've noticed too!
In my experience, The Work is the most simple, efficient, and effective method to overcome anxiety, fears, addictions, body issues, and relationship conflicts, because it gets to the heart of the problem - our deeply-held unconscious fears, limited beliefs, and assumptions.
I have been practicing The Work daily since 2008, and I consider it a way of life. Whenever stress arises in my life, I know how to handle it. Through connecting with my truth in the moment that I feel stressed, I become more self-aware, and can effortlessly return to experiencing joy and gratitude in the moment.
Some of The Biggest Fears and Limiting Beliefs, that I've worked on with Self-Inquiry include:
- Fear of Loss, Abandonment and Loneliness (WOW, this is a big one, including death of loved ones, loss of a job, or the end of a relationship)
- Fear of Rejection (as a gay man, in my love relationships, in my career, and the "little" rejections in life)
- Fears around Money (Poverty mindset - yuck!)
- Fear of Public Speaking
- Fear of Failure (This runs deep!)
- Habit-Breaking (Tip: It's not the habit you should be focusing on; it's the beliefs you're attached to that lead to the habit!)
- Interpersonal Conflicts in Relationships
These are just a few of the BIG ones! The Work has helped me overcome countless fears and stressful beliefs, that had been limiting my happiness.
Thank you for Visiting
I'm grateful that you've taken the time to visit my website today.
Whether you realize it yet or not, you're here a for a reason. Your mind may be tired of all the stress, and looking for a way back to peace and freedom. It can take a lot of courage to face the fears that the ego holds so dearly as it's identity.
It would be my privilege to help you breakthrough your fears and limiting beliefs.
There's not a fear that I won't walk with you through, with inquiry.
Ready to end your suffering? Let's talk!
Whether you realize it yet or not, you're here a for a reason. Your mind may be tired of all the stress, and looking for a way back to peace and freedom. It can take a lot of courage to face the fears that the ego holds so dearly as it's identity.
It would be my privilege to help you breakthrough your fears and limiting beliefs.
There's not a fear that I won't walk with you through, with inquiry.
Ready to end your suffering? Let's talk!
This is Your Life! Make PEACE Your Priority.
|
