Here's what Friendly Universe is all about!
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Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your stressful thoughts and wondered...
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If so, you're in the RIGHT place -- and, "Yes" to all of the above! The short answer is, it's all about YOU!
Do you love everything you think? If not, I invite you to test the power of Self-Inquiry, and open your mind to a peace you can't yet imagine...
Since 2009, I have helped people all over the world (on 4 continents and over 10 countries) to find inner peace by overcoming the fears and limiting beliefs that cause unbearable sadness, anger, depression, and conflict (with themselves and others).
Perhaps you've tried traditional psychotherapy, or read a lot of self-help books, but nothing seemed to be working, or maybe you've altogether given up trying. Don't give up yet!
I used to be a seeker of happiness -- I tried to find it in material possessions, goals and accomplishments, and most often in approval from other people -- friends, lovers, family, bosses and co-workers.
I looked for peace and joy everywhere but within myself ... the only place it really counts!
In 2008, everything changed for me, and I began to finally experience happiness on a regular basis. All of the self-help books and courses had lots of interesting theories, but nothing practical to implement. And then, I found The Work of Byron Katie -- I'll tell you all about it in just a moment!
Since I began Mindset Coaching in 2009, I've witnessed "miraculous" transformations in people's lives and relationships (and certainly in my own). Where nothing else worked, meditative self-inquiry broke through the fears and pain of repetitive stressful thoughts -- and it works FAST! -- So many clients have told me that they tried therapy for years, and with just a few sessions of The Work, their lives improved for good!
Perhaps you've tried traditional psychotherapy, or read a lot of self-help books, but nothing seemed to be working, or maybe you've altogether given up trying. Don't give up yet!
I used to be a seeker of happiness -- I tried to find it in material possessions, goals and accomplishments, and most often in approval from other people -- friends, lovers, family, bosses and co-workers.
I looked for peace and joy everywhere but within myself ... the only place it really counts!
In 2008, everything changed for me, and I began to finally experience happiness on a regular basis. All of the self-help books and courses had lots of interesting theories, but nothing practical to implement. And then, I found The Work of Byron Katie -- I'll tell you all about it in just a moment!
Since I began Mindset Coaching in 2009, I've witnessed "miraculous" transformations in people's lives and relationships (and certainly in my own). Where nothing else worked, meditative self-inquiry broke through the fears and pain of repetitive stressful thoughts -- and it works FAST! -- So many clients have told me that they tried therapy for years, and with just a few sessions of The Work, their lives improved for good!
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What is "The Work" of Byron Katie?
It has a funny name -- and, who is this "Byron Katie" anyhow? -- Byron Katie is actually a woman (she goes by "Katie"), who discovered a very simple way to escape - and overcome - nearly a decade of self-loathing and years of chronic suicidal depression. Katie describes her path to freedom as "The Work found me". She was not looking for a way out of her depression. She hit rock bottom, and one day she awoke to, "a joy that has never left". She was not a spiritual or religious person. Katie explains simply, “I’m just someone who knows the difference between what hurts and what doesn’t" and "I'm not a masochist anymore". (from Loving What Is). |
"The Work" - as Katie calls the meditative process she discovered - is not so much a "thing"; it's simply:
"Four Questions and a Turnaround".
Here's how it works:
Step 1. Identify the stressful thoughts you're experiencing in any given situation -- from your recent, or distant past / childhood. This could be someone cutting you off on the highway, chronic physical pain, cancer, conflict with someone, or even past abuse.
Step 2. Inquiry. This is the heart of The Work -- meditative self-inquiry -- and it's so simple it's crazy it actually works! -- but it really does. First of all, I'm no meditator... I could barely sit still in silence for 10 minutes, but The Work is a different kind of meditation. All you do, is focus on the stressful situation, and ask these 4 Questions of yourself. The trick is to consult your "heart" or inner-wisdom, and not to answer with your well-trained/ conditioned, ego-based intellect.
The 4 Questions
1. Is it true? (yes/no)
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true? (yes/no)
3. How do you react - what happens - when you believe this thought?
4. Who or what would you be without this thought?
The Turnarounds are a foreign concept to most people. They are simply a way of taking a look for evidence of the opposite(s) of the stressful belief that you have been so attached to. The 4 Questions open your mind to receive the Turnarounds.
And that's The Work! Simple, right?
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Katie sometimes says, "It's not called "The Work" for nothing". As a Mindset Coach facilitating The Work, my job is essentially that of a "lion tamer" for the egoic mind. When ego defends with its judgments and rationalizations, you stop answering the questions of The Work, and thus, it stops working - like an on/off switch. Sometimes people claim it's not working, but they fail to see they were just defending their story with "proof" (i.e., another story) -- the ego loves this!
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When you're very attached to your stressful story about a situation, or if you're just starting out in Inquiry, it's best to have a facilitator to support you and keep you focused (that's the meditative part). As you practice The Work more regularly - just like any other skill, The Work starts working you -- inquiry takes on a life inside you, and things that used to drive you mad, barely upset you, as you quickly snap out of the nightmare of your suffering -- or they don't even upset you at all. Often - believe it or not - laughter and curiosity replace the suffering.
About Bryan Clark
As far back as I can remember, I have been fascinated by the mind. I studied ESP and Hypnosis in my early teenage years, and then formally studied psychology at the University of Central Florida, earning a Masters degree in Human Factors Psychology. Human Factors is the study of how people interact with objects and environments. My job was to design services and products to be user-friendly, by understanding the mindset of the people who would be using them (the "human" factor). I traveled the world developing medical and consumer product interfaces, and later designed websites and software interfaces.
In graduate school, I was most interested in Mental Models (how people believe something works vs. how it actually functions), and Anthropomorphism - how people interact with objects as if they were people - for example, punishing or praising your computer, getting upset with autocorrect or Siri on your smart phone, or even naming your car. I was also very interested in User Feedback - the lack of which causes frustration, because it requires the person interacting with the object or environment to create his or her own explanation of what happened.
As it turns out, this applies to human-to-human interaction as well. This is because perception IS your reality, and your belief system gets superimposed onto everything you perceive. There's what happened, and then there's your story (and perception) of what happened. When you don't have the whole story, your mind fills in the gaps of your understanding with assumptions. These assumptions are based on your past experiences that appear to be related to your present experience. When we cling to these unquestioned assumptions as the truth, our behavior becomes influenced by inaccurate information, which your ego will often defend to the death (of your joy). The Work takes uses your stressful stories like breadcrumbs to lead you home to clarity -- or "sanity". Katie often says, "Confusion is the only suffering on this planet" -- and that's what I've noticed too.
In my experience, The Work is the most simple, efficient, and effective method to overcome anxiety, fears, addictions, body issues, and relationship conflicts, because it gets to the heart of the problem - our deeply-held fears and assumptions.
I have been practicing The Work daily since late-2008, and I consider it a way of life. Whenever stress arises in my life, I know how to handle it on the spot! Through connecting with my truth in the moment that I feel stressed, I become more self-aware, and can effortlessly return to experiencing joy and gratitude in the moment.
Some of The Biggest Fears, that I've worked through with Self-Inquiry are:
These are just a few of the BIG ones! The Work has helped me overcome countless fears and stressful beliefs, that had been limiting my happiness.
In graduate school, I was most interested in Mental Models (how people believe something works vs. how it actually functions), and Anthropomorphism - how people interact with objects as if they were people - for example, punishing or praising your computer, getting upset with autocorrect or Siri on your smart phone, or even naming your car. I was also very interested in User Feedback - the lack of which causes frustration, because it requires the person interacting with the object or environment to create his or her own explanation of what happened.
As it turns out, this applies to human-to-human interaction as well. This is because perception IS your reality, and your belief system gets superimposed onto everything you perceive. There's what happened, and then there's your story (and perception) of what happened. When you don't have the whole story, your mind fills in the gaps of your understanding with assumptions. These assumptions are based on your past experiences that appear to be related to your present experience. When we cling to these unquestioned assumptions as the truth, our behavior becomes influenced by inaccurate information, which your ego will often defend to the death (of your joy). The Work takes uses your stressful stories like breadcrumbs to lead you home to clarity -- or "sanity". Katie often says, "Confusion is the only suffering on this planet" -- and that's what I've noticed too.
In my experience, The Work is the most simple, efficient, and effective method to overcome anxiety, fears, addictions, body issues, and relationship conflicts, because it gets to the heart of the problem - our deeply-held fears and assumptions.
I have been practicing The Work daily since late-2008, and I consider it a way of life. Whenever stress arises in my life, I know how to handle it on the spot! Through connecting with my truth in the moment that I feel stressed, I become more self-aware, and can effortlessly return to experiencing joy and gratitude in the moment.
Some of The Biggest Fears, that I've worked through with Self-Inquiry are:
- Fear of Abandonment and Loneliness (WOW, this is a big one!)
- Fears of Loss (death of loved ones, loss of job, possessions, etc.)
- Fear of Rejection (as a gay man, and in my relationships, career, and the "little things" in life)
- Fears around Money (Poverty mindset - yuck!)
- Fear of Public Speaking
- Fear of Failure (woah!, this runs deep!)
- Interpersonal Conflicts in Relationships
These are just a few of the BIG ones! The Work has helped me overcome countless fears and stressful beliefs, that had been limiting my happiness.
Thank You!
I'm grateful that you've taken the time to visit my website today.
Whether you realize it yet or not, you're here a for a reason. Your mind may be tired of all the stress, and looking for a way back to peace and freedom. It can take a lot of courage to face the fears that the ego holds so dearly as it's identity.
It would be a privilege to help you discover peace on your journey of life.
There's not a fear that I won't walk with you through, with inquiry.
If you're ready to end your suffering, let's talk!
I'm grateful that you've taken the time to visit my website today.
Whether you realize it yet or not, you're here a for a reason. Your mind may be tired of all the stress, and looking for a way back to peace and freedom. It can take a lot of courage to face the fears that the ego holds so dearly as it's identity.
It would be a privilege to help you discover peace on your journey of life.
There's not a fear that I won't walk with you through, with inquiry.
If you're ready to end your suffering, let's talk!
Make PEACE Your Priority,
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